... With a Frickin' Laser Beam ...

I am now the proud owner of a laser pointer. I'm sure I will find many uses for this throughout daily life.

1. Giving directions:

Hapless Traveler: "Which way to 3rd Street?"
The Travel Slob: "See that sign with a red dot? That's where you want to go."

2. Crisis Management:

Hapless Bassers-By: "Oh no! Bank robbers are holding people hostage!"
The Travel Slob: "No worries! I'll make them think there's a SWAT-team that has their sights set on the robbers, and we'll negotiate from there." (Note: This may backfire.)

3. Yeti Distraction:

Hapless Sherpa: "Look out! Yeti attack!"
The Travel Slob: "I'll distract them with a shiny red dot on the ground they can chase curiously. You get the hikers and supplies out of here, quickly!"

4. Dot Creation:

Hapless Piece of Paper: "..."
The Travel Slob: "Fear not! I can't make you speak, but I can put a red dot on you."

The possibilities are endless.